Is it that simple? Just one way? I believe it is. Let me tell you my story and you can judge for yourself!
How do you see yourself?
For as long as I can remember, I saw myself as not fitting in. Insecure and full of self-doubt as a child. As a teenager, I was sheltered. I was the youngest of three children and an oops in my parents later years. I have been overweight my entire life despite everything I tried to improve my image. I didn’t have a lot of relationships and was fortunate that when I married, I had many good years. That is, until my husband turned to alcohol and gambling. I somehow figured it was my fault for a long time. Eventually I came to the realization that it was his choice, and not in my control.
I left him after 20 years and eventually found someone else that I have had many happy years with. But it wasn’t until the last couple of years that I am starting to view things differently. I suppose it was the stress of many years of being unhappy added to the new stress of being self-employed in my second relationship, that caused my breakdown. I knew I needed help and like some many people these days, was put on depression medication. Not something I ever saw myself doing but it has made a huge difference. Over time, we don’t really notice the blurriness that takes over.
So why am I telling you this?
Despite how it reads so far, this is not intended to be my biography! Let me skip ahead to the good stuff!
Two years ago, we made a long distance move which included moving our business. We now live in a small town of approximately 2500 people. One of the first things I noticed upon moving here was that people were actually nice! Genuinely nice! You don’t have to know them, they just say “Hi” or stop and offer help if they see you struggling. I love this! My faith in humanity has been restored.
This is when I started to realize how dehumanized we become. God forbid you say hello to someone walking down the street in a big city. They would probably look at you sideways. This was my first transformation. Realizing how far I had gotten away from “people” and caring. It’s also when I began to question a lot of things about myself.
Jumping forward to about a year ago, my daughter was having an online Younique makeup party and asked me to join in. The presenter, Tawnya, did an excellent job of making it fun with draws and freebies and live instruction. I ended up winning one of the draws and the prize was for a numerology session with Tawnya. Actually I won two of them so I gave one to my daughter. Not having any clue what numerology even is about, we said sure lets check it out!
Now I’ve never really, truly been a believer in any of the astrology, mystical stuff although I would read it for fun. Well wasn’t I surprised when Tawnya did our charts and had plenty to tell us about ourselves that rang true. So now I’m intrigued and these thoughts stay in the back of my mind.
Also, about a year ago, I began my venture into online marketing and joined Wealthy Affiliate. I have mad this a link so that you can check it out if you so choose. My purpose for mentioning it here is that I also learned through them and the community of members that giving back and helping people reach their goals is just as important as reaching your own. That is when I started writing my “On the Side” articles like this one.
Surfing through Facebook one day, I come across a posting by “Positive Outlooks”. I don’t even remember now what it said but I remember thinking yes that’s true and sharing it and liking their page.
Eventually I started to realize that I now had all these “positives” affecting my daily life. This is when it began to change.
The #1 Way
I bet you thought I’d never get to it! Unfortunately for you, the only way I could think to really explain it well was to share my experiences.
The #1 way to self-improvement is POSITIVITY and REFLECTION!
Yes it really is that simple! Not quick, but simple! As a child growing up I thought self-improvement was how I appeared to others and that stayed with me for many years. Once you can understand that self-improvement is about “self” (go figure), it becomes much easier to make headway.
I started filling my days with as much positivity as I could. I would read the positive Facebook posts (that actually had more impact than you would think). I try to find positives in every situation although sometimes this is still tough for me. I stay in contact with Tawnya which is a huge positive in my life and I interact with the members at Wealthy Affiliate. My goals used to be all about making more money to have the things I wanted. I would still like lots of those things, but they don’t matter as much anymore. I want to be happy with myself. That means coming to the realization that what others think of me doesn’t matter! That was a big one, but let me tell you, that is a huge relief!
Once I got that far, things started becoming a little easier. If I don’t have to take on making everyone else happy there goes most of my stress! We are only really responsible for one life, our own. Of course, we are responsible for our children but even then our job is to guide them and teach them, not to control them.
I think when we start to raise families we begin to feel the pressures of responsibility for providing. We want them to have everything we didn’t as kids and have a happy life. Somehow, this all becomes about money and not about the people.
My Wish for You
I hope that by sharing what has been transforming my life, I can somehow lead you to the right path to improve yours.
I had one of those light bulb moments the other day when I realized that by taking the time to heal myself, I am returning to the person I once was. The person who did care a lot for others and how I could help them or give to them. But now I can do it without it feeling like a responsibility or a stress. Why? Because I’m working at taking care of myself FIRST!
I encourage you to share stories or questions below. And if anyone is interested in finding out more about numerology or having a reading, please contact Tawnya directly through www.ayamjourneys.com You won’t regret it!
Embrace yourself in self-love!