Growing up we are naturally drawn to certain people and vice versa. We play with the neighbour because they are there, because our parents hang out together. But as we get older, our lifestyles and our personalities will more often determine those that we associate with. But how often do we consciously pick our friends?
Fate or Choice
That friend that you golf with every week, fate or choice? Did you meet while golfing and it just kind of fell into place? Or were you already friends through some other circumstance and found golfing was something you had in common?
Generally, people become friends because of something they have in common. Makes sense right? You are going to enjoy each others company if you’re doing something you both like. But does that necessarily mean that you are going to like everything about each other? Or that you have the same ethics or goals? What happens when you have a great time together and then find out something that completely turns you off?
Are we being Judgmental
Certainly I live by the rule that we should not judge people and accept them for who they are. That does not mean that you need to accept someone as a close friend if your values and direction are not the same.
In the same way as “you are what you eat”, you are who you associate with. Have you ever had that friend that just isn’t very motivated, might fall under the “couch potatoe” category? What happens when you hang out with that friend? Do you become lazy, unmotivated yourself? More than likely…YES. Of course the complete opposite being the friend that never stops! Jumps out of bed in the morning and flies all day like it’s their last. Hanging out with that friend is just tiring! But I think you get the jist.
So why not have friends on both ends of the scale? Knowing your goals and the path you choose to take, require a concerted effort and focus. People who fall under the couch potatoe category are not those who are going to motivate you towards your goals as they generally are not goal oriented themselves. That’s not to say that a rainy day in front of the tube watching a movie in your jammies all day isn’t great. It just needs to be an occasional thing.
Moving forward towards our goals and aspirations will no doubt be more easily accomplished if we surround ourselves by like-minded people. These people, having similar goals, will recognize your accomplishments however small, they will provide encouragement when needed. You of course, will be able to do the same for them when recognizing a struggle similar to your own or a down day when you don’t feel your getting anywhere.
I’ve seen a lot of discussion around this topic lately and to me it is common sense. One example of this for me is the community of members at Wealthy Affiliate.
There is a grain of the same thread in all of us. We all became members for mostly the same reasons. It is therefore easy to understand each others goals and how important it is for us to reach them. Not only do we assist each other in learning how to get there, but we praise each other for jobs well done, for any accomplishments made along the way.
Just having like-minded people around you (even in cyber space) is a definite bonus when it comes to encouragement and dedication. I highly recommend this experience but even if you look at the people in your daily life and ask yourself “is the person of benefit to my future goals?” “Am I benefiting this person in what they want to be?”
Give it some thought and see if your circle could use some “choosing wisely”!